


painted awake

by kryptonites



Series: NCT Palettes [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Aging, Aging Characters, Angst??, M/M, Mentioned Character Death, Mentioned Huang Ren Jun, alternative universe, fluff??, i honestly dk what im doing with my life, idk about the other tbh, idk what im doing with my life at this point, luren if you squint, mentioned markhyuck and chensung??, one of them dies??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-24
Updated: 2018-07-24
Packaged: 2019-06-13 11:58:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15364173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kryptonites/pseuds/kryptonites
Summary: a blank canvas. it was how everything starts, just like how lee jeno and na jaemin's story began.he remembers every day as if it only happened a few days ago.vivid. that was how he can describe the memories as they come back to him.and with those in mind, with his heart filled with love, he picked up the paintbrush and dabbed it into the colour, before the canvas was filled with life.





	painted awake

**Author's Note:**

> this is the first work i will post here in ao3 and i am excited about this because this has been inspired by one of my favorite mvs of all time. english is not my first language so please bear with the mistakes. 
> 
> inspired by the mv of nathan sykes' over and over again.

 

_jaemin was age fifteen when he first met jeno, more like when he first gets to be close to jeno._

_lee_ _jeno_   _was the epitome of perfection, in_ _jaemin's eyes, that is. he was not that popular, he was not that disliked as well. he stands out, yes, but not too much. he can be easy to miss but to_ _jaemin, he isn't._ _jeno had kept_ _jaemin's attention on him without him even noticing._

 _jaemin had noticed that_ _jeno was friends to lee_ _minhyung, a student who is a year ahead of them. it turns out that_ _donghyuck, his best friend, was dating that same senior._

 _donghyuck has been dating_ _minhyung for quite a while now. a month, if_ _jaemin's memory serves him right._ _donghyuck and_ _minhyung thought it was finally time to introduce their relationship, formally to their friends._

 _jaemin remembered the smile that_ _jeno had on his face that time and he knew that he will fall deep for that boy._

 _"i'm j_ _aemin," he managed to muster, a smile accompanying his words. his smile turned out to be more enthusiastic as_   _jeno offered him his hand, to which_   _jaemin happily shook. "i'm_   _jeno, a friend of_   _minhyung."_

 _it did not take long for jaemin and_ _jeno to click. it was as if they were made for each other, that they were soulmates._ _jaemin remembered the beautiful laugh that_ _jeno had. it was as beautiful as his smile, or maybe, more. his eyes turned crescents, something_ _jaemin did not know he was fond of until that moment. his lips parted to let out a harmonious laugh._

_if jaemin could freeze that time, he would._

_and as if to sate himself for not being able to stop time, he ingrained that moment to himself._

 

* * *

 

_jaemin was almost sixteen when he and jeno first went on their first date as a couple._

_over the course of the past months, jeno and jaemin got to know each other and before everyone knew it, they were dating._

_donghyuck and minhyung had to pay ten bucks to renjun, who bet that jeno and jaemin will be a couple after a long time in contrast to donghyuck who bet one month and minhyung who said three months._

_jaemin felt as if he and jeno had done too many and too little at the same time.  did it matter? he does not know. he has not experienced this before. he had a relationship before jeno but it was not like this. and what he and jeno have right now is far more superior than what he previously had._

_and jaemin would never trade jeno for anything._

_their classes ended. as how they had done months before, they went to their lockers together. "hey nana," jeno called out, "let's go to the cat cafe we've talked about. we scheduled it today right?" jaemin's expression brightened. "of course, jen."_

_over the months before they got together, jaemin was able to make lee jeno to a cat lover. jeno originally did not like cats but after seeing similarities between jaemin and cats, appearance-wise, he started to like them._

_jaemin enthusiastically took jeno's hand with his as they went to the cafe._

_jaemin would lie if he does not feel the butterflies in his abdomen. infact, he feels so much more than that. he experiences the feeling of falling with the knowledge that there is someone who will catch him._

_his smile has gotten brighter, donghyuck and renjun noted, but all that na jaemin can focus on was the fact that he feels so light yet grounded whenever he is with lee jeno._

_with that first date in mind, jaemin taped the memory to a list of his favourites._

 

* * *

 

_jaemin was twenty-three when jeno proposed to him._

_he did not expect for their relationship to last long, let alone for seven years. there were instances that he thought they would break up. heated arguments where either one of them will cry and the other one will walk out. jealousy trips where younger females keep confessing to jeno and jaemin attracting older males. differences overpowering their similarities. it seemed dark but they got out of it all with hands intertwined._

_it was not romantic, if donghyuck, the ultimate romanticist, was to evaluate it but for jaemin, it was more than enough._

_anything that jeno gives him was more than enough._

_it was starry that night and jeno drove them to a cliff overlooking the city. "jeno look! it's so pretty!" he exclaimed as if he was a child. the city lights were shining brightly that time and it took jaemin's breath away. "is it? i've seen things, people, prettier than that." jaemin raised a brow at his lover, silently telling him to proceed. "na jaemin, you're far prettier than the city lights."_

_"oh, scratch that. ethereal is the word perfect for you."_

_jaemin chuckled at the words of jeno, feeling his heartbeat getting erratic._

_"jaemin," he watched as jeno bent onto his knees and on his hand was a petite box, with a gleam on it. jaemin could not believe what was happening as tears started to form in his eyes. "we have been together for seven years now. we have been through a lot and it only made us, our bond, our relationship, stronger. my entire being screams to never let you go, and i have no plans on doing that. what i have planned is to make you mine and make me yours. so will you, na jaemin, give me the honour of being your husband, your life partner, til death do us apart?"_

_at the end of jeno's words did jaemin broke down. jeno immediately wrapped his arms around his boyfriend. "it's a bit short than what i expected for it to be but words really can't describe the love and happines you have given me, nana." he kissed jaemin's tears one by one and jaemin held on to jeno's shoulders as if he will be gone in a moment._

_"i know that, jen." jaemin pulled away to wipe his tears and to take in the image of his love that moment, whose eyes were shining warmth. he nodded, his lips curving to a beautiful, ethereal smile, "yes, lee jeno. i'm saying yes to you and only you."_

_and jaemin remembered that moment ended as jeno took him to his arms before pressing their lips together._

_he certainly did not forget the feeling of love seeping more and more from the depths of his veins at that time._

 

* * *

 

_jaemin was twenty-four when he got married to jeno._

_his parents had mixed feelings about their marriage. they were happy to see their son merry with the man he is with. they were happy that their son found a wonderful man for his life partner, like how they wanted him to be and yet, in the midst of this, they could not help but feel sad that their son is going to spend the remainder of his life inside the walls of his new home. he was their only child, doted heavily by his parents since birth._

_jaemin reassured his parents that he will visit them whenever he could and promised to take care of his husband-to-be._

_everyone in the venue was enlivened. he had donghyuck as his best man whilst jeno had minhyung for his best man. renjun was the ring bearer, even though their parents both suggested that they have one of the young boys from either family to do the job. the couple knew that renjun was the right man for it and renjun agreed, now dressed in white as he eyed the rings on the cushion before laughing to yukhei who was whispering sweet things to his ear._

_jaemin did not wear a dress, seeing as he is still male and wearing a dress would be funny for him. he had a white tuxedo, with a flower corset. he insisted on not having a bouquet, seeing the flower corset to be enough._

_he was accompanied by his parents as he took the scenery in, not believing that it was finally happening. at the altar was jeno waiting for him, wearing a matching white tuxedo as him and the same flower corset. jeno's eyes were filled with tears and jaemin smiled at the beautiful sight._

_he took jeno's extended hand and his smile became brighter. "i love you." he said and the tears spilt. jaemin wiped them away gently, making jeno smile. "i love you too."_

_and jaemin remembered happily exchanging vows with jeno before sharing a kiss, everyone cheering loudly for the newlyweds. he had that moment inside him for the years to come._

 

* * *

 

_jaemin was twenty-seven when he and jeno decided to adopt._

_they could not bear a child but because they wanted to shower someone with their joint love, they made the mutual decision to adopt a little bundle of joy._

_the married couple ventured throughout south korea in search of the perfect child. they had initially made a list of what they want their child to be. jeno wanted a child whose eyes were a bit smaller than his and jaemin's. he also wished for the child to be hard-working, respectful and kind. jaemin wanted a child who can be kind yet fun-loving, a child with a beautiful, cheeky, smile._

_what the couple should've realized was they did not need to look that far because they were eventually led back to seoul, in a small yet peaceful orphanage._

_jaemin recalled seeing a little boy bowing his head at them when they entered and every smaller child than him flocked around him. the caretaker told them that the boy who caught his attention was called jisung._

_jaemin told jeno about the young boy and the couple frequented the orphanage and spent time with the children and as if fate was by their side, jisung became close to them._

_"jisung-ah," jeno called out to the boy, "if someone were to adopt you, who would you want them to be?" jisung smiled as he said, "you and jaemin hyung."_

_and they knew that it was settled. the couple adopted jisung and decided to retain the name he was given._

_even though it was hard for the whole orphanage to let jisung go, they bid him farewell and jisung promised to visit his friends._

_jaemin imprinted that scene in himself. with jisung, their little family is now complete._

_jeno looked as if he was a proud father of jisung already and that was enough for jaemin._

 

* * *

 

_jaemin was thirty when their family moved to their new house._

_they have been saving for their house since they got married. six years into their marriage and three years into their parenthood did they bought a house of their own._

_their parents chipped in, just a little bit, jaemin says._

_they packed their things to boxes before leaving their apartment. it was nearer to jisung's dance academy, a few blocks away from each other and jisung courageously told his parents that he can walk by himself now, that he does not need a guide. it was cute, the couple said, but disagreed, planning to drive him there instead._

_their new house was a wide bungalow and was yet to be decorated._

_jisung immediately got out of the car as soon as they arrived, telling his parents that the last one to get inside is a loser._

_jeno chuckled at their son. "isn't he adorable?" he asked jaemin who agreed. "reminds me of my childhood, must be fun to be a kid again."_

_jeno pressed a kiss on jaemin's cheeks. "you must be thinking of our early days as a couple. want to be a teenager again?"_

_jaemin hit jeno lightly on the upper arm, shaking his head. "you're being silly. we cannot go back to those days."_

_"i-" jeno stopped at the sound of their son's youthful laughter resonating from the living room. "race you there, sweetheart!" was what jaemin heard before jeno ran._

_"yah! lee jeno!" jaemin laughed before moving his feet fast but jeno was a great runner that he reached jisung in no time, carrying the boy in his arms. "papa," jaemin looked at jisung, "you are the loser!" he laughed so carefreely that it made jeno laugh._

_jaemin stitched that time in himself, it was at that time that happiness finally came to his family._

 

* * *

 

_jaemin was fifty when he lost the love of his life to an accident._

_it was another company dinner and jaemin told jeno to go, despite jeno complaining to not to because of the weather. it has been raining cats and dogs and jeno would love to skip work to stay all day with his husband but he cannot. he did not want to leave his husband alone, not after their son has moved out. jisung got married to a wonderful boy named zhong chenle, and even though they did not want to see their son away, they cannot force him to live under the same room as them._

_"i'll be home soon" was what jeno said when jaemin called him and jaemin held on to those words as he stayed up all night, growing impatient as his husband takes a long time to come home._

_when his phone rang, he answered it under a second but it was not jeno's voice that greeted jaemin._

_"am i speaking to na jaemin?" "yes, this is he."_

_jaemin cannot deny the fact that he was shaking at the situation. "i am sorry to inform you but lee jeno has been caught in an accident. we are now bringing him to the nearest hospital. we will text you the information. we hope to see you there."_

_when the hospital's address was given, jaemin immediately rushed to the hospital, hailing a taxi to whom he gave the address._

_jaemin had his hands together as his figure shook in fear. his eyes were shut close as he muttered prayers for jeno to be safe._

_jeno will survive. jeno is strong. he will wake up from this and they will get through this together, like how they used to._

_he arrived at the hospital with his heart beating fast, immediately asking the reception where a patient named lee jeno was taken and he was given instructions._

_when he got there, he was greeted with a doctor who asked if he was na jaemin, to which he nodded._

_"i am sorry but we lost patient lee jeno because of a car accident, and excessive blood loss."_

_he looked at the figure laid on the bed, who he knows was his jeno, and the sight brought tears to his eyes._

_his jeno was covered in a white cloth, declaring that he was dead._

_and jaemin cannot get that image out of his mind after so many years._

 

* * *

 

jaemin is now sixty years old.

it has been a decade since the passing of his beloved and there was no day that his heart cried. he no longer shed physical tears as the pain in his heart was more than enough for him to bear.

his son, jisung, offered a place for jaemin in his new house with his spouse, chenle, but jaemin turned it down, saying he does not want to intrude in their privacy and he wants to stay in the place that he and jeno worked hard to buy. jisung could not do anything, his father was a stubborn man, after all.

he placed down the newly finished canvas down, his frail fingers almost dropping it.

he got up and decided to visit his love again.

jaemin requested for jeno to be buried near their home. it will be easier for him to go to his love, thus making his visits a daily thing.

it was his three thousand, six hundred fiftieth visit to jeno's grave and jaemin flashed a smile to the laying place of his love.

"jeno, i'm here again." he laid the flowers in front of the tombstone, his fragile frame struggling to sit in front of the tombstone.

"how's heaven today? i hope it is still lovely as how we had envisioned it to be." he chuckled softly before clutching his chest. "i do not have much time left, jeno. maybe we will be reunited soon."

jaemin felt water in his eyes, which he allowed to flow. he did not know if it was because of his body getting tired of holding the sadness he feels or the pain in his chest.

"will you wait for me there in heaven?" he asked before laughing, "what am i saying? of course, you will wait. you have been waiting for years now, i'm sorry for the delay."

"but i'll be there soon. i promise."

jaemin stood up but he was brought down to his knees by the pain in his chest. 

he took his phone out of his chest and smiled at the wallpaper.

it was a picture of him and jeno during their wedding reception. he felt warm tears drop as he looked back to the tombstone.

"we will be together now, my love."

and the next thing that jaemin knew, he was laying on the green earth.

his vision was getter darker as he tries to contact their son, who picked it up.

"papa?" jaemin heard jisung and whispered, "i love you, son."

he was too tired to focus on what jisung is saying that he looked up to the sun and swore to himself that he saw a young jeno with his hand extended to him.

"let's go home, jaemin." and jaemin took jeno's hand.

**Author's Note:**

> you can follow me on my twitter (@nanastwts) where i post mostly about nct.


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